Well there hasn't been much going on lately. I feel like I just work...a lot. It's really hard being gone for so much of the day. I was thinking about it, and if I was making sure to go to bed in time to get 9 hours of sleep...that would mean I would only have 3 hours at home after work before I'd need to go to bed. Just three hours...to make/eat dinner...spend time with my husband...relax after working all day...go to the store, gas up the car, or do any errands that need done. That's just not enough time for me!
So as you can imagine, I generally don't cook much of a dinner and I never get enough sleep. I just stay up late every night so that I can hang out with Stephen more. And this routine has already started taking its toll on me physically. Over the years I've realized that my body doesn't handle stress very well. I just get sick. Headaches...sore throats...body aches...fatigue...just plain feeling lousy. I've had to give up on goals and plans in the past because I end up just making myself too busy. I always seem to put more on my plate than I can finish!
I just hope I can keep up with everything on my plate this time. There really isn't much there besides work and home life. I should be able to handle this. Sometimes I hate how weak I am.
I've been really feeling like I need something else to do. I feel like I've lost myself...I need to be Susan still. And that means I need to be taking time to do the things I enjoy. I'm really missing acting and the theatre...it's been hard not having that in my life right now. I never realize how important it is to me until I stop acting. I know there must be plenty of groups I could join or plays I could audition for here in Reno, but there's just not time for me to do anything. It's so hard........